Two people asked me an interesting question which I had trouble answering.

One woman asked me why God helped me so much in my life, when she felt that He had not helped her. She noted that I seemed to have an easier life, which those of you who know my story, cannot imagine anyone saying.

I did not know what to say, as she is healthy, has had a long and good marriage, she is comfortable financially, she has lovely children, a lovely house and all the modern conveniences, the family is all talented and nice looking, and so on.

She has had many friends as well.

Another person asked me the same question, as I was speaking of some difficulties which a friend helped me out of some time ago.

“Why should you get help from your friends, and I do not?” Again, this person had no pressing needs, lived a nice, safe and solid middle class lifestyle,yet she felt she had never been noticed in her personal needs, which may have been very true. But, to the world, she looks comfortable.

One must ask God for help in all things.

Garrigou-Lagrange gave me the answer, which I could not think of myself, as I do not consider myself special in any way, only one of God’s fools.

The great Dominican notes that Divine Providence works in and with mercy and justice. He states that “providence and justice will make up for the inequality in natural conditions by their distribution of supernatural gifts.”

If I had known this and understood this in my own life, I could have answered the two queries. Justice is that which is due to God alone, such as true worship and the acceptance of His Lordship. The poor have more opportunities of giving up their lives and things to God, as they do not have much to begin with for detaching themselves.

Garrigou-Lagrange writes that “one who is bereft of this world’s enjoyments wil in some cases feel more powerfully drawn to the joys of the interior life. That is what our Lord would have us understand when He says, ‘Blessed are the poor in spirit…Blessed are the meek;; that suffer persecution for justice’s sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.’”

All I own fits into one small bedroom. All I wear for two months fits into one suitcase, which also includes books and papers. All I do is to give everything I have and do to God daily. I have many trials just because life can be difficult. But, what these two ladies saw was not my stuff, or their stuff, but my total reliance on God. They thought it was reliance on other people, but it is not. If those who listen to God come to my aid, so be it. But, one is never presumptuous, but waits.

What else are we called to do but totally abandon ourselves to God?

A prayer which Garrigou-Lagrange states is anonymous but inspired by St. Augustine, also reminds one of the prayer of St. Ignatius.

O my God, I leave myself entirely in Thy hands. Turn and turn again this mass of clay, as a vessel that is fashioned in the potter’s hand. Give it a shape; then break it if Thou wilt: it is Thine, it has nothing to say. Enough for me that it serves all Thy designs and that nothing resists Thy good pleasure for which I was made. Ask, command. What wouldst Thous have me to do? Lifted up, cast down, in persecution in consolation, in suffering, intent upon Thy work, good for nothing, I can do no more than repeat with Thy Holy Mother: “Be it done unto me according to Thy word.”

Give me that love which is beyond all loves, the love of the cross—not those heroic crosses with a glory that might foster self-love, but those ordinary crosses which we bear with so much distaste—those daily crosses with which our life is strewn and which at every moment we encounter on our way through life; contradictions, neglect, failures, oppositions, false judgments, the coldness or impulsiveness of some, the rebuffs or contempt of others, bodily infirmities, spiritual darkness,silence and interior dryness. Only then wilt Thou know I love Thee, even through I neither know nor fell it myself; and that is enough for me.

Yes, Lord, I love you and I must, as I have no or very few natural resources, depend on you totally.

Some of us have been given this type of life. When the trials of Christians get worse, and the Holy Scriptures, in the Book of Daniel indicate that the persecution under the Anti-Christ will be three and a half years, we shall all have to rely on God totally. We shall have to rely on trustworthy relationships.

I highly suggest, if you have not done so, reading Lord of the World. As I pointed out in another posting on the Anti-Christ, that time is coming soon when nations will be in a frenzy to have a world war, and one person will appear out of nowhere to calm all the battles. However, this power will not be from God, but from satan, in order to make those who want peace and not religion, or peace not based on Christ, which is the only true peace, accept such a false, deceitful peace.

Sadly, too many people listen to smooth, nice voices and thnk that “nice” people are in sanctifying grace. One cannot trust someone who is not putting on the Mind of Christ.

If one has not practiced complete dependence on God, one will be tempted to look towards a superman type person for what only God can give—true holiness and the resultant peace. But, this person will lead those who listen to him away from Christ, giving a peace without God, without the true God.

The stage is being set of the coming of the one who will pit the entire world against Catholics. In many areas, this has happened already. But, the stage is just be set-up, the pieces of stage settings being dragged into place, the lights being worked on and the actors practicing.

Soon, too soon for many, the curtain will rise.

Those who are just and righteous will see Who really has the Kingdom of God on earth-the Crucified One.

The spirit of detachment will protect us from lies and the false peace. All dis-ordinate, unjust, and falsely secure attachments will get in the way of one’s ability to hear the Voice of God and the voice of one’s Guardian Angel. Only detachment clears the mind, heart, soul.

So, I am facing another crisis in my life, as God wants me to learn and practice again and again reliance on Him Alone. These crises make one aware of one’s own moral condition, a necessity in growth in the spiritual life. Also, one has to become like a little child reliant on God the Father Alone. This is very hard for Americans and the British, especially.

I am so glad I am an “outsider”, one who stands always on the fringes of society, and even on the doorstep of the Church. As an outsider, my loyalties belong to God Alone, and to those only to whom He brings into my life and shows me clearly I must serve them. Outsiders see things without agendas. One must be free of all agendas, even career agendas or family agendas.

The past three weeks, I was evangelizing an unbaptized adult. She still has not decided to be baptized, but seeds were planted. Now, I am dealing with being surrounded, not only by unbelievers, as unbelievers may be baptized or not, but by many unbaptized people. What a huge difference the graces of that sacrament is….we can see the violence which springs from the hearts and minds of those who do not experience sanctifying grace, who are not heirs, yet, of heaven, and who are not, yet, children of God. Baptism makes a difference, and merely being a human without God’s life within one does not lead us to God, unless one desires baptism and, for some reason, cannot get it.

Those who are baptized have the Indwelling of the Holy Spirit. They live in grace, unless they decide to turn against grace and God. Those who are not baptized do not have the Indwelling of the Holy Spirit. They do not live in grace.

If they try to be moral and try to find God, He will bless those.

Jesus shows us the Father. Jesus is the Only One Who shows us the Father, and as I sit here, alone, without the nest I see in the palm tree across from my door, I ponder these words, because the war, which is coming soon, is all about land, property, resources, kingships of this world.

“The foxes have holes, the birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has no where to lay His head.”

Christ said this for many reasons, but the one we must all think of is that on this earth, we shall be disinherited by those who do not serve God. And, yet, the meek will inherit the earth.

The paradox is that those with nothing have everything, because they have the Love of God first, first, first in their lives.

That would be my answer today to those two women today. Make God first in your lives and all else will follow.

And, that will be my answer someday to those who want this earth without Christ’s Kingship.

“Thy kingdom come” is followed by “Thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.”

So, do you want the kingdom of Christ? Do His will, now, on this earth. Know that Jesus is Lord. Know that there is a Trinity, and that the Father loves us.

I want to say this to all the unbaptized ones I see and meet daily. May God give me the chance to do so in peace and for His Glory.